UFC 96 Production and Commentary Thoughts – Part I

Mike Goldberg escaped UFC 96 without any major faux pas.  I’m not sure if that’s a sign that he’s improving, if he tones it down for non-superfight cards, or if he just got lucky.  Still, he remains a replacement level broadcaster.  He announces like he’s in a video game, latching on to catch phrases and concepts that he repeats ad nauseam.  In fact, one could create a sound board for Mike to call fights with and I’m not sure anyone would notice.

With that said, here’s the best of the worst from the first half of UFC 96:

High school state wrestling championships, ironically, are this weekend.

I don’t think “ironically” means what you think it means, Mike.

Anyone else notice the Alfalfa tuft Goldie rocked on Saturday?  Is Ray Charles doing his hair?

The bullet points the UFC production crew likes to use are always good for a laugh, especially in the case of guys like Pete Sell.  Is Sell really so bland and/or worthless that his durability and propensity to brawl best describe him?

Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Good job by Yves Lavigne, he says go ahead.

Maybe it’s unfair to call out Goldie for something in the heat of the moment, but the UFC pays him to accurately describe the action in the Octagon.  With that in mind, Goldie fails on all accounts here.  Yes, it would have been perfect officiating for Lavigne to let the fight go.  The fact of the matter is that he stepped in and grabbed Matt Brown, saw Sell come to, and restarted the fight.  Mike should be cognizant enough to recognize this at this stage of his career.  I hate bringing him up all the time, but there’s no way Jim Lampley makes the same call in this situation.

Wow, you know what, take the stoppage, controversial or not.  Take it out for a second, Joe, and just talk about Matt Brown, WOW.

Just so much wrong with this statement.  For starters, the fight is characterized by a bizarre decision from the referee, yet Goldie’s first instinct is to whitewash the whole thing.  Let me repeat, Goldberg takes the major storyline from the fight and tosses it aside.  And for what?  Well, to offer some not-so-technical knob polishing of Matt Brown’s performance.  Don’t get me wrong, Brown looked superb.  But if you’re going to ignore the big talking point of the fight, you better offer a little more than caveman hyperbole.

Jesus, Junie, that girl you’re with is absolutely brutal.  I’d expect a reality show star with a headcase personality like yourself to be able to pull in hotter tail than that.  Time for an upgrade, son.

The demise of the Ultimate Fighter winner Kendall Grove…greatly overexaggerated.

First off, what demise?  Grove came into UFC 96 with a victory over Evan Tanner.  Second, and the reason for pointing this quote out, “greatly overexaggerated.”  I expect this from Tito Ortiz, not a professional broadcaster.

The veteran, he’s seen it all, Gabriel Gonzaga.

Gabe has 14 fights, most of which he’s huffing and puffing after three minutes.  Seen it all he has not.

Carwin immediately looking to take this fight to the ground.

This one’s from Joe who said this as Carwin pushed forward chasing Gonzaga backwards with punches.  ‘Nuff said.