This is clearly Goldie’s favorite club track, “Precise Precision” by DJ Spinege.

Click here to view the embedded video.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE:] I am sure that Mike Goldberg’s ill-fated comment on Anderson Silva probably came before this, but I couldn’t help but make the joke anyway.

I’m pissed I didn’t think of it myself.

You can find it in the website’s header, or immediately after just about any UFC fight is stopped prior to a judges’ decision –  Mike Goldberg swooping in with his dramatic finishing line:

“It is all over!”

It has such a ring of finality to it, as if nothing again will ever happen after the fourth round of Georges St Pierre – BJ Penn II.  While it may feel like obvious hyperbole to some, others seem to take Goldberg’s words literally (which is a word that has become a Goldbergism of its own).  Remember Forrest Griffin’s demeanor after his loss to Keith Jardine?  The man was crying in his corner. As far as I am concerned, the most likely reason for this is that he overheard Goldie delivering those four words and thought he was soon to be poofed out of existence.

In the interest of furthering investigative journalism, I have sought out a precedent from which Goldberg’s favorite tag line could be derived.  My abnormally working memory (hideous short-term, ridiculous long-term) reminded me of Marv Albert’s call of Game 1 of the 1997 NBA Finals.

Click here to view the embedded video.

To me, nothing says “it is all over” quite like the end of one game in a best-of-seven series.  Maybe our “titular love” just happened to watch one basketball broadcast in his life and base his technique on that experience from that day forward.

Embedded video courtesy of YouTube user TheRandomXProduction

If you’ve caught Shaq Vs., you’ve probably noticed a familiar voice.  Yeah, that’s titular love Mike Goldberg calling the Shaq action.  Same dumb inflection, same dumb voice, same dumb comments.  Even throws in a “IT IS ALL OVER” in there for you sheep.

If you haven’t gotten enough Goldberg lately, my friend informs me he will be calling the Arizona/Green Bay preseason game this week.  Yippie!

Click here to view the embedded video.

If a cartoon is successful enough, it’ll eventually have two or more distinct eras defined by the visual and audio stylings of the show.  In addition to the maturation of the drawings in both the Simpsons and Family Guy, there are various obvious changes in Homer’s voice in the Simpsons and the insertion of Mila Kunis as Meg in Family Guy.

Did the same thing happen with Mike Goldberg?  Granted, the first video isn’t the best example of his “before” voice, but it’s the best I could find on youtube at the moment.  I’ve yet to pinpoint the crossover moment (and it may be a gradual thing), but his voice sounds deeper and fuller at the present when compared to yesteryear.

So.  Am I reading too much into it?  Does he smoke?  Is it due to Zuffa’s increased mic budget?  Is it a conscious “announcer’s voice” for him?  Inquiring minds must know!

…and Kenny asks, “Who the fuck let this guy in my dressing room?”

Justifiably historic?  Super Bowl of MMA, in Pride’s heyday?  GEORGE HOLMES?

Loyal reader starvin Twitter‘d me this very provocative question:

@Mike_Fagan_13 How many drinks at ufc 100 is a Bruce Buffer “SEXYAMA” going to be worth?

Whoa.

Now, I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility that we here “SEXYAMA” dropped during UFC 100.  I’d rank the likelihood of the culprit as Rogan, Goldberg, and Buffer.  That being said, Buffer may be a lock if Sexyama himself chooses it as his nickname.  And if I remember correctly, he’s acknowledged knowing about it.

Also, SMG favorite Michael Schiavello has been using it on Dream broadcasts for some time.  So, the Sexyama cherry has been breached.

Still, I’m gonna handicap Bruce, Mike, or Joe saying it at +200.  As for the drinking game, I think a double shot of your favorite hard liquor is in order, no?

Faithful SMG fan SSreporters wrote a FanPost over at my home for MMA.  This caused the Goldie apologists to come out of the woodwork.  Which caused me to go all Bruce Banner on their ass with the following:

The thing about the Goldie hate isn’t just that he’s still a near-dunce when it comes to the technical aspects of the sport. He can’t accurately or eloquently tell the story of the action in front of him. Goldberg’s the commentary equivalent of “playing not the lose.” Yeah, he gets the very basic aspects of the job done and he’s REALLY GOOD at hyping products. But can you name a really classic Goldberg call? Or name a fight in which he significantly added to your enjoyment of the fight?

I certainly can’t for either question posited.

Go listen to Jim Lampley call a big boxing fight. Or any boxing fight for that matter. He adds an additional level of emotion to the proceedings. THAT is what a play-by-play man should strive for. Yelling retarded catch phrases like “It’s all over!” and “You gotta watch for the upkicks!” not only makes for boring listening, but detracts from the presentation for anyone who has followed the sport for awhile with a critical ear for these sorts of things.

It’s nice that the UFC rewards loyalty within the company. Unfortunately, that comes at the cost of quality for the fans. For the sabermetrically inclined, Goldberg is the prototypical “replacement level” broadcaster. When a guy like Gus Johnson, with no prior combat sport experience, can come in and do a similar if not better job than you after something like a decade of experience, there’s something critically wrong.

Yeah, it’s more of the same from me, but I don’t think I’ve ever really been able to articulate with the appropriate amount of vitriol that accurately reflects how much Mike Goldberg grates my nerves during a broadcast.  I think this is a good start.