Need a reason to drink?  No?  Well, you want to convince some bar skanks to get drunk enough to go home with you?  Yeah?  All right, then.  Find a bar playing UFC 102, find some beer loving heffers, and give them this list.  Hell, you can even start making up shit on your own after the first fight or two.

Take a drink…

…if Leben’s positive steroid test is mentioned.
…if Randy is described as “mauling” Nogueira.
…every time Couture’s described as a 5 time champion.
…every time Nogueira’s Pride/UFC title accomplishment is mentioned.
…if Joe says, “That’s a wrap!”
…if Maia’s BJJ is described as “being on another level.”
…every time Marquardt’s piledriver is shown.
…every utterance of “awkward” and “unorthodox.”
…every utterance of “impose his/your will.”

Finish your drink…

…if Joe calls Randy his hero.
…if Randy submits Nogueira.
…if Nogueira knocks out Randy.
…if Fedor gets his named dropped.

If you’ve caught Shaq Vs., you’ve probably noticed a familiar voice.  Yeah, that’s titular love Mike Goldberg calling the Shaq action.  Same dumb inflection, same dumb voice, same dumb comments.  Even throws in a “IT IS ALL OVER” in there for you sheep.

If you haven’t gotten enough Goldberg lately, my friend informs me he will be calling the Arizona/Green Bay preseason game this week.  Yippie!

Click here to view the embedded video.

If a cartoon is successful enough, it’ll eventually have two or more distinct eras defined by the visual and audio stylings of the show.  In addition to the maturation of the drawings in both the Simpsons and Family Guy, there are various obvious changes in Homer’s voice in the Simpsons and the insertion of Mila Kunis as Meg in Family Guy.

Did the same thing happen with Mike Goldberg?  Granted, the first video isn’t the best example of his “before” voice, but it’s the best I could find on youtube at the moment.  I’ve yet to pinpoint the crossover moment (and it may be a gradual thing), but his voice sounds deeper and fuller at the present when compared to yesteryear.

So.  Am I reading too much into it?  Does he smoke?  Is it due to Zuffa’s increased mic budget?  Is it a conscious “announcer’s voice” for him?  Inquiring minds must know!

In between Thai clinches and rubber guards, Mike and Joe like to say stuff.  You can make a pretty good drinking game out of it.  The core rules are here.  The 101 specific rules are as follows:

Take a drink if Mike or Joe…

…bring up B.J. Penn’s 3 foot pool jump.
…talk about Kenny Florian finishes fight.
…mention Florian’s loss to Sean Sherk.
…mentions Forrest fighting for $250, being a police officer, or continuing with a broken arm.
…reference “Shogun” Rua as being the #1 LHW in the world when Forrest beat him.
…talk about Silva’s BJJ black belt from the Nogueira brothers.
…bring up Anderson Silva’s elbow destruction of Tony Fryklund.
…describe Silva’s past two fights as some form of “unmotivated”, “lackadaisical”, or “disappointing.”
…references Josh Neer’s amateur record.
…says, “That was weird,” if Kurt Pellegrino puts himself into Neer’s guard.
…use a Boston accent.

Take a drink…

…for every Affliction shirt worn by a fighter.
…if Diego Sanchez steps into the Octagon following the main event.
…every time you hear “I want B.J.’s belt!”
…for every Buffer 90/180.

Finish your drink…

…if Diego Sanchez says, “YUS!”

Have you seen this man?

Does SMG have some pull in the industry?  Franklin’s still got a blog at the New Jersey Star-Ledger, but I haven’t seen him on MMA Live in awhile (though, admittedly, I haven’t watched in awhile either).  But he also doesn’t appear to have written anything for the WWL since April 3rd.

Then HDNet announced Michael Schiavello as their new voice for MMA. So we’ve got that going for us, which is nice.

Loyal reader starvin Twitter‘d me this very provocative question:

@Mike_Fagan_13 How many drinks at ufc 100 is a Bruce Buffer “SEXYAMA” going to be worth?

Whoa.

Now, I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility that we here “SEXYAMA” dropped during UFC 100.  I’d rank the likelihood of the culprit as Rogan, Goldberg, and Buffer.  That being said, Buffer may be a lock if Sexyama himself chooses it as his nickname.  And if I remember correctly, he’s acknowledged knowing about it.

Also, SMG favorite Michael Schiavello has been using it on Dream broadcasts for some time.  So, the Sexyama cherry has been breached.

Still, I’m gonna handicap Bruce, Mike, or Joe saying it at +200.  As for the drinking game, I think a double shot of your favorite hard liquor is in order, no?

The best thing about Mike Goldberg’s Mr. Roboto style commentating?  Makes it easy to do a drinking game.  As usual, the core rules can be found here.  UFC 98 specific rules as follows:

Take a drink if Mike or Joe…

…use the word “elusive.”
…discuss Rashad’s explosiveness or athleticism.
…make some sort of reference to Serra and Hughes “not liking each other.”
…mention Chris Lytle during the Serra/Hughes fight.
…mention Tyson Griffin during the Sherk/Edgar fight.

Take a drink if…

…Serra or Hughes’ wives show up on camera.

Finish your drink if…

…Mike or Joe mention steroids.
…Hughes submits Serra.
…Serra takes Hughes down.

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