What’s a man to do when he gets tapped on the shoulder following the defeat of his college football club? Well, punch the offender in the face, of course.
Good technique that almost reminds me of the Ali/Silva anchor punch. Full extension of the arm, turns the hand over, lands flush on the chin. Only thing that kept the kid from getting KO’d was Blount going backwards.
Need a reason to drink? No? Well, you want to convince some bar skanks to get drunk enough to go home with you? Yeah? All right, then. Find a bar playing UFC 102, find some beer loving heffers, and give them this list. Hell, you can even start making up shit on your own after the first fight or two.
Take a drink…
…if Leben’s positive steroid test is mentioned.
…if Randy is described as “mauling” Nogueira.
…every time Couture’s described as a 5 time champion.
…every time Nogueira’s Pride/UFC title accomplishment is mentioned.
…if Joe says, “That’s a wrap!”
…if Maia’s BJJ is described as “being on another level.”
…every time Marquardt’s piledriver is shown.
…every utterance of “awkward” and “unorthodox.”
…every utterance of “impose his/your will.”Finish your drink…
…if Joe calls Randy his hero.
…if Randy submits Nogueira.
…if Nogueira knocks out Randy.
…if Fedor gets his named dropped.
Not much of a surprise to see a local reporter churn out the usual UFC-hate piece with the company entering a new market this Saturday. Dan Canzano of the Oregonian penned the latest beauty. It’s your standard affair, though Canzano offers this little anecdote that tickles my fancy:
My early experiences with mixed martial arts weren’t good ones. Admittedly, it tainted me. I came to this sport early, and remember sitting ringside at a Native American casino in California years ago, watching a mob of fans cry for blood. And there was lots of it on the canvas.
During that event, more than a decade ago, one of the fighters competing on the undercard canceled. And so the ring announcer grabbed a microphone and asked if there was anyone in the house that wanted to fight.
A guy stepped forward, and proceeded to get his face battered, and eventually, he vomited in the center of the octagon. I interviewed him after the bout and he apologized and blamed his 0-1 career start on bad luck.
Well, Dan, I’m sure glad your entire view of the sport is shaped by one instance in a rinky dink promotion in some backwards California Indian casino. Because that really highlights how Dana White, the UFC, and the rest of legitimate MMA organizations are run.
I mean, fuck. Would you introduce someone to basketball by going down to your local inner-city playground? Would you bring teach someone the intricacies of professional football by digging out tapes of the XFL?
It’s amazing that sports journalists get where they are when the majority of them lack the ability to utilize logic and critical reasoning. Absolutely mindblowing.
If you’ve caught Shaq Vs., you’ve probably noticed a familiar voice. Yeah, that’s titular love Mike Goldberg calling the Shaq action. Same dumb inflection, same dumb voice, same dumb comments. Even throws in a “IT IS ALL OVER” in there for you sheep.
If you haven’t gotten enough Goldberg lately, my friend informs me he will be calling the Arizona/Green Bay preseason game this week. Yippie!
If a cartoon is successful enough, it’ll eventually have two or more distinct eras defined by the visual and audio stylings of the show. In addition to the maturation of the drawings in both the Simpsons and Family Guy, there are various obvious changes in Homer’s voice in the Simpsons and the insertion of Mila Kunis as Meg in Family Guy.
Did the same thing happen with Mike Goldberg? Granted, the first video isn’t the best example of his “before” voice, but it’s the best I could find on youtube at the moment. I’ve yet to pinpoint the crossover moment (and it may be a gradual thing), but his voice sounds deeper and fuller at the present when compared to yesteryear.
So. Am I reading too much into it? Does he smoke? Is it due to Zuffa’s increased mic budget? Is it a conscious “announcer’s voice” for him? Inquiring minds must know!
It’s been a week since Strikeforce’s “Carano vs. Cyborg” card. I put off critiquing it because, frankly, I thought it was a disaster.
Most pressing (and disappointingly) is that I’ve lost faith in Gus Johnson’s ability to become a legitimate MMA broadcaster. His ability to shriek at dramatic moments works well for basketball where those situations are few and far between. MMA provides for many opportunities for Gus to unleash his inner banshee, and he shows little ability to differentiate between appropriate moments to go nuts and a fairly routine stoppage or bit of action.
I don’t remember too much of Mauro Ranallo and Frank Shamrock’s performances, though the “keys to victory” segment made Frank look like an idiot. Showtimes needs to revamp or just plain scrap that turd. The skinless wonders really highlight the fact that you aren’t watching the UFC. It looks second rate, the explanation sounds second rate, and the “keys” are certainly second rate.
It’s disappointing that Strikeforce built up so much momentum with the historic main event and the Fedor signing, but the broadcast continues to make the promotion look like the minor leagues that they are. They really aren’t that far off which is what makes it especially frustrating.
Photo by the fantastic Esther Lin.
The rise in women’s MMA brings about an opportunity for writers to recycle their 1996 “human cockfighting” articles. Just update a few names, add in some bullshit about the precious nature of two X chromosomes, and you’re ready to go.
I expect to see this sort of drivel from the Boston Globe or the Po-Dunk Times-Herald. I do not expec to see it from MMA Fanhouse. Traitors!
The ancient Greeks who started the Olympics treated women like property. Now we’re letting women treat themselves like animals.
If female combat is going to ever make it big, it will need competitors who look like strippers and fight like bouncers.
From all accounts, the crowd loved it. Of course, some people like snuff films and Michael Vick’s ex-hobby. And our ancestors had season tickets to the Christians vs. the Lions.
That sounds frighteningly familiar doesn’t it?
Such thinking only goes so far. If dog fighting were to be sanctioned and televised, there would undoubtedly be a sizeable audience, consisting of the eager, the curious, and even the repulsed. Presumably that would lead to expensive ring-side seats, video games, and a beer sponsorship. But lawmakers, media, and business people would never condone it. Why they are willing to view “human dog-fighting’’ differently is something the culture of Dr. Phils ought to consider.
David Whitley, I can understand not getting off on women’s MMA. It’s not easy to deconstruct the smothering teachings of society.
To turn around and blast women’s MMA with the same garbage we’ve heard about the sport at large speaks volumes to me. If you’re going to label female fighters as “animals” and compare the women’s MMA to dogfighting and Roman bloodsport, why don’t you carry those arguments to the sport as a whole? How do you separate the two?
SMG’s favorite hillbilly surfer is back with his picks for Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg. If you don’t remember Todd MMA, he’s the dude that put together the video for the failed “second” Affliction card featuring Andrei Arlovski and Josh Barnett. I wasn’t sure Todd could top that effort which featured his show poster falling off the wall, but he came through big time here.
-First off, dude is a huge Gegard Mousasi fan. Unfortunately, he pronounces Gegard “jay-gard.” Oh well. He predicted first round KO, so big thumbs up.
-”A lot of people say Cyborg’s gonna win this. Well, a lot of people say Cyborg’s better looking than Gina.”
-Todd MMA outs himself as a Bristol Palin nuthugger.
I don’t know what this guy’s deal is, but I would like to know more.
Do I really need an excuse to post MMA-related Shaq footage?
HDNet put together a nice compilation of Schiavello goodness.