Oh sweet Christ

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Dana? Coker? Japan dudes? This dude. Dance-off with Akihiro Gono. Make it happen. I don’t care if he’s retired. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

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From the Rubber Tire’s Mouth

The Predators won, but by the time I saw this, that was irrelevant.

Thank goodness the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, TN has been notified that they are hosting a Strikeforce event.

Someone here at Sack Mike Goldberg lives in the Nashville area.  The rush for tickets begins now.  My favorite fighter may be Seraldo Babalu, but Strikeforce mainstay To “Be” Announced is right up there.  Plus a small (read: large) part of me would take extreme delight in seeing favorite of Jafanboys all across the world, Shinya Aoki, get stomped by a legitimate, but borderline top-10, Gilbert Melendez.

I attended the UFC Fight Night headlined by Martin Kampmann and Carlos Condit last year at the previously named Sommet Center, but a CBS Strikeforce card with three “fights involving a belt” (words like title and champion seem strange to use regarding Strikeforce to me) would probably be a bigger deal than that.  Last year I ran into Mark Coleman at the concession stands at the Fight Night card; perchance I could find someone else to encounter there this time.

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Its Precision is Precise

I’m pissed I didn’t think of it myself.

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What Was Not in the E-mail I Received From Chael Sonnen

created from pieces found on www.votesonnen.com

Tyler,

Thank you so much for your insightful question.  It is nice to see young men with a conservative mindset who are into mixed martial arts the way that you are.  I mean, I’m just a wrestler, so I’m not a real MMA fighter like those guys in Japan who go for long shot submissions against over-matched opponents.  That’s where the real glory lies; all I do is take one of the most consistently successful disciplines for fighting and ride it as far as it will take me — which usually is to victory.

It is definitely a shame that Vitor Belfort had to pull out of his scheduled title fight with Anderson Silva due to injury.  As the proclaimed number-one contender to the UFC middleweight title, I obviously had a vested interest in the outcome of that fight.  Could you imagine what would have happened if Belfort had won?  I certainly hope that Bruce Buffer would have been practicing saying “You Eff Shee Middleweight Champion of the World, Chael Sonnen” on a daily basis, because Randy Couture has shown us on more than one occasion what an old wrestler who has no chance of beating Belfort can do.

Thanks,

Chael Sonnen

The actual form letter e-mail I received from Mr. Sonnen after the jump.

Read More »

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UFC 110 Horrendously Overdue Token Opinion Piece

Krzysztof's face after rearranging Stephan Bonnar's.

"Next time, I'm writing my whole damn name in headbutts."

110’s in the books, and it was a blast. Great fights all around, not a single person left disappointed in my group, save for a few old-school Minotauro nuthuggers and a Cro Cop hater. BJJ marks got a fast-paced (albeit one-sided) ground war between bad nickname victims Joe “Daddy” Stevenson and George “Snuffalupagus” Sotiropolous, Ultimate Kickboxing fans got a vintage display of stupid overhand punches from Wanderlei Silva, and a pair of nasty knockouts (two and a half, if you count Wanderlei’s last second homicide attempt) punctuated the evening. Read More »
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Dana White on Frank Mir: He’s a Fucking Unprofessional Douchebag

From Cage Writer:

“Mir is a [expletive] idiot! I have never heard something so unprofessional and idiotic in my life,” told Carmichael Dave of KHTK in Sacramento.

Hm…really?

You fucking dumb bitch.  Fuck you, Loretta Hunt.

…and…

Typical fucking bullshit reporter.  Jake Rossen, go fuck yourself!

Not to mention the plethora of examples of him defacing his own contracted talent.  This isn’t a case of pot meeting kettle.  This is pot meeting pot.

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Etymology of Mike Goldberg: Marv Albert

Under the assumption that the idiocies known as Goldbergisms are not born from pre-game rituals with Joe Rogan and Eddie Bravo, we at Sack Mike Goldberg look to uncover the real reasons why Mike Goldberg and his contemporaries say the things they do.

You can find it in the website’s header, or immediately after just about any UFC fight is stopped prior to a judges’ decision –  Mike Goldberg swooping in with his dramatic finishing line:

“It is all over!”

It has such a ring of finality to it, as if nothing again will ever happen after the fourth round of Georges St Pierre – BJ Penn II.  While it may feel like obvious hyperbole to some, others seem to take Goldberg’s words literally (which is a word that has become a Goldbergism of its own).  Remember Forrest Griffin’s demeanor after his loss to Keith Jardine?  The man was crying in his corner. As far as I am concerned, the most likely reason for this is that he overheard Goldie delivering those four words and thought he was soon to be poofed out of existence.

In the interest of furthering investigative journalism, I have sought out a precedent from which Goldberg’s favorite tag line could be derived.  My abnormally working memory (hideous short-term, ridiculous long-term) reminded me of Marv Albert’s call of Game 1 of the 1997 NBA Finals.

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To me, nothing says “it is all over” quite like the end of one game in a best-of-seven series.  Maybe our “titular love” just happened to watch one basketball broadcast in his life and base his technique on that experience from that day forward.

Embedded video courtesy of YouTube user TheRandomXProduction

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Street Fighter: LeGarrette Blount

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What’s a man to do when he gets tapped on the shoulder following the defeat of his college football club?  Well, punch the offender in the face, of course.

Good technique that almost reminds me of the Ali/Silva anchor punch.  Full extension of the arm, turns the hand over, lands flush on the chin.  Only thing that kept the kid from getting KO’d was Blount going backwards.

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UFC 102 Drinking Game Addendum

Need a reason to drink?  No?  Well, you want to convince some bar skanks to get drunk enough to go home with you?  Yeah?  All right, then.  Find a bar playing UFC 102, find some beer loving heffers, and give them this list.  Hell, you can even start making up shit on your own after the first fight or two.

Take a drink…

…if Leben’s positive steroid test is mentioned.
…if Randy is described as “mauling” Nogueira.
…every time Couture’s described as a 5 time champion.
…every time Nogueira’s Pride/UFC title accomplishment is mentioned.
…if Joe says, “That’s a wrap!”
…if Maia’s BJJ is described as “being on another level.”
…every time Marquardt’s piledriver is shown.
…every utterance of “awkward” and “unorthodox.”
…every utterance of “impose his/your will.”

Finish your drink…

…if Joe calls Randy his hero.
…if Randy submits Nogueira.
…if Nogueira knocks out Randy.
…if Fedor gets his named dropped.

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New City, Same Bull Shit

Not much of a surprise to see a local reporter churn out the usual UFC-hate piece with the company entering a new market this Saturday.  Dan Canzano of the Oregonian penned the latest beauty.  It’s your standard affair, though Canzano offers this little anecdote that tickles my fancy:

My early experiences with mixed martial arts weren’t good ones. Admittedly, it tainted me. I came to this sport early, and remember sitting ringside at a Native American casino in California years ago, watching a mob of fans cry for blood. And there was lots of it on the canvas.

During that event, more than a decade ago, one of the fighters competing on the undercard canceled. And so the ring announcer grabbed a microphone and asked if there was anyone in the house that wanted to fight.

A guy stepped forward, and proceeded to get his face battered, and eventually, he vomited in the center of the octagon. I interviewed him after the bout and he apologized and blamed his 0-1 career start on bad luck.

Well, Dan, I’m sure glad your entire view of the sport is shaped by one instance in a rinky dink promotion in some backwards California Indian casino.  Because that really highlights how Dana White, the UFC, and the rest of legitimate MMA organizations are run.

I mean, fuck.  Would you introduce someone to basketball by going down to your local inner-city playground?  Would you bring teach someone the intricacies of professional football by digging out tapes of the XFL?

It’s amazing that sports journalists get where they are when the majority of them lack the ability to utilize logic and critical reasoning.  Absolutely mindblowing.

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